


Space Jail

by AlexielMihawk ENG (AlexielMihawk)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, F/M, Space Pirates, Unresolved Sexual Tension, commedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 22:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4852298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexielMihawk/pseuds/AlexielMihawk%20ENG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drake gets arrested, his companion in space jail is someone he doesn't expect.<br/>«Hello, Bonney. What a nasty surprise».<br/>«Shut your cakehole, dude. I know you are like super happy to see me!»<br/>«Like hell I am!»</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space Jail

**Author's Note:**

> Bonney/Drake is my OTP and I'm going to make the internet ship it, after this I might start translating all my other OP stuff, if I don't get too lazy.  
> Anyway, Space!AU, fluff, Bonney is my precious babe and I have a lot of headcanons regarding her, one of this is that she's Akainu's daughter and that she willingly speaks in a weird and slangy way.  
> This was written for a "drabble" event on an Italian fb group, with the prompt: Bonney/Drake “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”  
> (prompt originally found on tumblr).
> 
> PLEASE, English is not my native language, if you notice any mistake feel free to tell me and I will correct them.

 

He starts rolling his eyes the exact moment he sets foot in the small cellar room; this must be it, he’s cursed.  
«I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people!» is the excited shriek that welcomes him when the woman sets her gaze upon his face «It’s been ages since the last time I saw you! And back then you were the one arresting me!»  
Drake sighs, what has he done to deserve this? To deserve her?  
«Hello, Bonney. What a nasty surprise».  
«Shut your cakehole, dude. I know you are like super happy to see me!»  
«Like hell I am!»  
«Yes you are. So, what brings you in this pleasant and nice place? If I recall right you were some sort of rear-admiral of the space fleet, weren’t ya?»  
He nods and shrugs, not willing to make eye contact, and, most of all, not willing to explains how things evolved, not to her. The last time they saw each other he was still in the Space Navy and he was the one who caught her right handed while she was robbing a restaurant on Orion β. She kept sexually harassing him for the whole flight to the station and kept inviting him out for dinner; it was the worst arrest of his life.  
«Ya keep sayin’ nothing, ya know?» she says, sitting closer «You never talk much, can ya plese stop being so fricking boringasmic?»  
«Can you please learn how to properly talk?»  
«Nope, not as long as ya keep avoiding conversation, dude».  
«It’s Captain Drake to you».  
«Like hell it is, ya never called me Captain Bonney, not even once! Not even when ya arrested me! And you know how fucking important it is».  
He smiles, remembering how vexing he could be when he tries to, and turn his face toward hers.  
«I might or might not have left the Navy».  
«You did what?» she yelled, almost falling off her sit «But you were perfect for the job! You were so honest and upright and just!»  
«Oh, so you do know how to talk» he giggles «Anyways, the job wasn’t perfect for me, besides I had some issues with the admiral».  
«Which one? There are three admirals in the Space Navy, don’t think I don’t know that».  
He gives her a brief glare, more surprised she actually knows something about the universe than annoyed by the question. She isn’t has bad as he thought she was the first time he met her, yes she’s weird and eccentric and a bit crazy, but she’s nicer than he expected.  
«I really don’t think you know the guy, his name’s Akainu, a -»  
«A big dick, he’s the worst. Of course I know him, and trust me when I say this: he’s the worst human being you’ll ever meet, like in your whole life».  
«I thought you didn’t like the south sector of the Universe, he mainly works there».  
«And I don’t, have you ever asked yourself why?»  
«Well, according to your files it’s were you were born, but no I never wondered why».  
«I hate him. I hate him more than everything else in the worl- in the universe».  
He raises an eyebrow, uncertain if asking her the reason of such a deep hatred is a good idea.  
«So what are you doing now that you are not in the Navy anymore? And why are you even in space jail?»  
«Why are _you_ in here?»  
«I asked first».  
«Fair enough, I’m a space pirate now. There’s a bounty on my head and stuff».  
«Wait what? How much?»  
«Something like 222.000.000 beli».  
«You are worth more than I am? And I have been a space pirate way longer than you have! That’s not fair, man!»  
«Life never is, so what are you in for?»  
«I stole pizza».  
He laughs in amusement.  
«That’s why my bounty is higher».  
«No, you don’t understand. I stole 200 pizzas from a restaurant. Well, more like I stole the transport spaceship, but still it’s a serious crime. I’m definitely worth more!»  
«Yes you are. The seriously menacing Bonney the Big Eater, that’s how they call you. To be completely honest, and I don’t think I should, there are a lot of things you could do to, how can I say this, get a reputation…»  
«If you are implying I should kill someone, well, the answer is no. Not that I can’t do it, I had in the past, but it’s too messy and it’s tiring. I’ll pass on this one».  
«Bank robbing?»  
«Not clever enough».  
«Drug smuggling?»  
«Not interested, besides the Donquijote Family holds the entire smuggling from here to Sector 814Ω and I don’t have any intention of messing with them. They got a fleet of psychopaths with laser guns and cannons. Nope».  
«Then you’ll have to keep stealing pizza, but that’s not going to raise your bounty».  
«You know what is?»  
«Please don’t say –»  
«Prison break is!»  
«And you said it. We are not escaping».  
«Oh, if you like it here you can stay, but I feel like I need to tell ya this, dude, the Admiral guy you hate so much is gonna get here in a few… minutes? Hours? Whatever».  
«What? Why?» he trembled, trying not to remember some unpleasant memories.  
«That’s a secret, sweetie» she smiles with a grin «Now, let’s get outta here, dude!»

 

 


End file.
